Mr Ellistine - Regarding your Order for Snow

Hmm, it appears I have some customer service issues...

Dear Mrs Sheba (or should I call you Queenie, or Ma'am?),

You have me confused with someone else. Unhappy children at Christmas are the responsibility of some bearded reindeer-thrasher with a worrying liking for Elves.

He's been a customer of ours for many years and he's a right pain I can tell you - always wants his delivery on the same day every year and thinks a cheery "Ho Ho Ho" will do as down-payment...


Dear Mr Stenmark,

I am sorry you are dissatisfied with your delivery. Unfortunately our terms and conditions clearly state that we cannot accept returns.

Furthermore, at our own discretion, Mr F.Big-Cloud reserves the right to deliver wherever he damn well pleases... regardless of the expectations of his supervisor - Mr F.Orecast.

I did have a word with him about your particular issue and he said something about "popping back over the weekend to give you a right good pasting".


Best regards,

Mr TheSnowGod (you can call me "The" if you like).

Dear TheSnowGod,

I hear you have a nemesis - a Nordik God called 'Thaw' :twisted:



Ok so he's really called Thor but he sounds just as evil.

Mr Snow God,

Please deliver a large order of snow to Western Canada, both me and Ross would be incredibly grateful if you did so!

Look forward to playing with the order once it has arrived and we have gone to meet it!

Ben

:lol:

Dear Snow God

your delivery is well received and with many thanks, there are a few interested parties that would like to make a reservation, we would love the pleasure of yourself and Mr F.Big Cloud in the Mayrhofen area early to mid January next year. Does ordering early gaurantee delivery?

Mr Ellistine would I'm sure, like a special delivery over the Harakiri the same period. Your nemesis Thaw is not welcome during that period, particularly as his mate Mr Ice and the Harakiri do not get on with each other.

Hopefully Mr Stenmark is disabling the delivery vehicle in front of his house so it can't go anywhere for a little while longer :lol:

Dear TheSnowGod,

As much as I appreciate your recent deliveries, particularly those within the Tignes area, I would still be gratefull of any assistance you can give in getting hold of TheWindGod and telling him to step away from The Grande Motte Glacier. His recent efforts has forced the closure of the glacier for the last 3 or 4 days with 93mph winds recorded at one point. This as you'll agree is 'not cricket' and we will expect a lot less of him over the coming 4 days.

Thanks as ever

Mr Ellistine.

Dear TheSnowGod,

Upon arival in Tignes we did indeed come across your delivery. Infact, such was the extent of your delivery that we had to stop and fit the snowchains just to get to the delivery address.

TheWindGod was being a bit childish on the first day causing the local piste shamen to close all the lifts but by the second day all was well.

In the absence of TheWindGod the Grande Motte was open, as was the Double M run back into resort! Nice run that. Not so nice when the snow cannons instantly coat your goggles in a blinding layer of ice but oh how we laughed afterwards!

Just like to add, Mountain Sun who are running the Atomic Boot camp are amazing. They couldn't be more helpfull. They're planning some similar low cost deals towards the end of the season so back to Tignes it is then.


The Delivery in Tignes Les Boisses.


The Rossolin T-Bar, Grande Motte

Dear Mr SnowGod

I would also like to extend a hearty thanks for the delivery you made to Val Thorens and the 3 Valleys over the last few days. I would like to place a regular order for daily deliveries bewteen now and the 21st December. There after I would appreciate a stop on the delivery of Snow - but if you could talk to Mr SunGod and ask him to deliver perfect sun, and Mr ColdGod to keep temperatures at around freezing for the week or so leading up to the 29th December that would be great!

My family and I will be using the siad items aof snow, sun and cold for the Christams week and would be happy to compelet a customer satisfaction report when we return to the UK. :D

Dear Everyone,

Jolly good, I'm glad you enjoyed the last delivery.

Mr F.Big-Cloud is presently re-loading his van and will be travelling Southwards through the Alps toward the weekend.

Mister Blue Sky has had it too good so far this week so we'll be knocking him off his perch by mid-week and getting it on again with Mister Freeze...

Snow Flakes!