Mr Ellistine - Regarding your Order for Snow

Dear Mr Ellistine,

The Snow you ordered recently has now been despatched to the required address (The Mountain, Tignes, France).

Delivery is expected from Friday through Monday, courtesy of our usual courier, Mr. F.Big-Cloud, who is presently making other deliveries in the region.

If you are not at the address to receive it, the courier will spread your order liberally across the surrounding countryside (so, not at all like Parcel-Farce then).

Please note that - pending a suspension of the laws of physics - returning your order as unsuitable is not possible at this time.

Should you wish to re-order, we would be happy to receive your request - although you should note that demand is exceptional at this time of year.

Thank you once again for your order,

TheSnowGod

Dear TheSnowGod,

As a skier who lives his life by the church (I'm not religious, I just live opposite a church - no really. Bell practice on Tuesday nights are a nightmare!), I am deeply touched by your attention to this matter.

I appreciate it's a very busy period for you with requests from all over northern hemisphere.

I'm very much looking forward to taking delivery of the order, infact looking at the Tignes webcam it appears Mr F.Big-Cloud has parked his delivery vehicle right in front of the camera. Perhaps if you could have a word. No snow on the webcam please.

Many Thanks

Mr Ellistine

By the way, have you got the number of TheWindGod?

ellistine wrote:By the way, have you got the number of TheWindGod?

Sorry, we don't really get on as he sometimes sabotages our deliveries. He can be very childish and often turns perfectly good powder into horrid wind-slabs.

He doesn't actually need a number, though, as he is omnipresent - or at least he will be after your beer-and-takeaway tonight...

TheSnowGod wrote:He doesn't actually need a number, though, as he is omnipresent - or at least he will be after your beer-and-takeaway tonight...

plus the 4x Warren Smith DVD marathon - all that hot air :D

genuinely....the funniest thing i've read in ages!

ps mr snowgod - many thanks for your early dispatch of the promised items to the les gets area as well. unforunately we will require many more deliveries on the run up to Christmas or there will be many unhappy children.

many thanks

Why all the attention on the rich of davos? hit banff!!!!!! haha

Dear MrSnowGod,

Please can you have a word with your driver as he has left his delivery right across my drive, right down our road and as far as I can see, and now I can't get out of my house!

What's more he left a card to say that he has another delivery booked for both Saturday and Sunday! - Please sort it out!

Furthermore, my Dr says being confined to my wine celler (err sorry, house) is not good for me.

Best wishes,

Mr Jan