More ski SINS ( clothing)

Seems skiers are interested in SINS!

To be more specific skiing related sins. You know those faux pas the new skiers are just not aware of, yet every other skier knows that you should never, but never dare even think of transgressing into the world of sin!


We will look at ski clothing sins. I am not talking about taste here, but rather at real real sinful selection of ski attire.


The very first that comes to mind is using very very tight jeans. This sin is often done by the "other sex"! I understand that women ( and some men) like to "highlight" the hard wok they have done at the gym! They desire to show the various curves, muscles and other attributes, however in skiing using tight jeans is not the way to go!
Jeans have no wind-proofing properties so you might look great in the chalet but on the slopes you will very quickly freeze.

Skiing is an active sport. Tight jeans have little give thus the blood circulation is minimal in the lower areas. Decide if you want to ski or "cruise" in the chalet and pretend to ski!

Jeans also have a "magnetic attraction" to snow. Snow seems to bond to jeans and then freeze on the surface. In short order your "sexy" body looks more like the Michline tire ( sorry tyre) man!

Another very sinful choice is the "haute couture" look which I like to call the Bogner look! If you know anything about your ski history, you know that Bogner invented the tight stretchy ski pants! Again looks great in ski magazines or in ski bars, but the tight black ski pants, with the tight short fur trimmed ski jacket is out! Once you sit on an icy ski chair lift you will know why!

The key is functionality and warmth!

One of the very top sinful ski sins is the goumer look. The term comes from my kids.

What you do know know the goumer look!

Let me give you the picture. Take an old hockey sweater, better still and old NASCar shirt, or an old torn rugby shirt ( you know the old stripped ones), add an old pair or work pants with some paint or grease on the seat! Of course the in hat is an old log tuque with a small hole where the moths have entered!
The very best then is a long bright scarf which hangs 2 meters down (ready to hang the sinner on the trees, tows or corrals).

You must of course finish off the "look" with great big leather mitts given by the grandfather . A leftover from his arctic exploration days.

Did I forget the googles! Yes yes the WW2 army surplus glasses!

You get the picture.


Now let us focus more on the major male sins! The very common one is the "fluo look"! Many years ago ski industry wanted to lower the accident rate so they sold very very very bright ski clothing in many shades of blinding fluo colors. The idea was this "color" would blind other skiers or at least "momentarily" paralyse the visual neural sensory system, thus allow the skier to escape !

The opposite occurred !
The first side effects to these suits was noted by a noted swiss geophysical researcher who found that the sun's ray reflected so well ( in fact the suits increased the sun's ray) that the ski runs where such sinners were found had greater snow melt.
There are some American weather specialist who have proposed the theory that global "melt down" was begun by these suits.
As an illustration of the power of these suits , an American who was on the moon actually caught a reflected beam of sun light from such a suit and was nearly blinded. After this incident such colors wear "forbidden" because of possible eyes damage but also based on "good taste"!

Every sport has is "look" and adaptive clothing! Yet many sinners think that what is effective in one sport can be effective in another arena! Such was the thinking of the next sinner. I swear this is true!

Imagine one very cold day I see a skier in a diver's dry suit! You read correctly A DRY SUIT! You know the black neoprene all body suit all that was missing was the hooded top!

Now if you have these sinful urges ( and we all have them) here is the solution! Every ski ski center has a "crazy day" often called also Spring Day. or Carnaval Day!
Get out your most bizarre wild clothing and flaunt it! But only on that day!

I know when I prepare myself for THE DAY my kids all ask me where I am going, then do not come near the resort!
My wife allows me to wear such sinful clothing on one condition! I must wear a mask! Also I must leave the house at 5 AM so the neighbors will not see me!

So next time you watch a Warren Miller movie and it shows a "spring festival" at Sun Valley, look carefully at one clip where a "wild man" in very strange attire is jumping from mogul to mogul. Notice you do not really see his face due to the colored zinc sun proof! It is me!

We all are sinners! As you get older you learn to sin in appropriate places so do not do as I did. Look around you and if you see strange glances, smiles, your pants fly might be opened OR your new 1960's jacket is sinfully old!

Hope you enjoyed my sins!

Don't forget the white cotton polar/roll neck shirt that is standard dress for men over sixty at US resorts.

Trencher

Pavel,

Did you write this before or after I mentioned my new Spyder jacket in that last PM I sent you :?: 8)

I half expected Spyder gear to be sin number 5!

Trencher, Yes you can "place" a skier"s decade by those turtlenecks. Worst that those turtles necks is the following.
Wearing a bright red short scarve around the neck!!!!

Or that small wine bag!!!!!


I actually wrote this five months ago but decided to keep winter on our minds by printing this story!

By the way, Spyder is on of ther top quality and price outfits. Great stuff! I have to share with you that I at home I am considered the spyder man since I have get stuff from them since 1984. The president is/was Canadian and skied on the national team! Try their ski gloves! If ever you put on a Spyder ski racing outfit you will understand the expression, "fits like a glove" " It is designed to fit perfectly only when you are in the correct ski position.

pavelski wrote:

By the way, Spyder is on of ther top quality and price outfits. Great stuff! I have to share with you that I at home I am considered the spyder man since I have get stuff from them since 1984. The president is/was Canadian and skied on the national team! Try their ski gloves! If ever you put on a Spyder ski racing outfit you will understand the expression, "fits like a glove" " It is designed to fit perfectly only when you are in the correct ski position.

So Pav, I'm sure you have one of these.
:lol:
http://www.spyder.com/productdetail.asp?productid=101901

Trencher

I hope you noted the "humble" tone of the first presentation, since I do consider myself a sinner. I sometimes take out "old" pictures of my ski attire. Of course in context they seem correct. Now!!!

It is like looking at hair styles in the 60's and 70's!!!

Mind you I did not mind the ladies dress styles then!

As far as "fur suit" must be very warm so is it sinful? or just a tad "gauche"!


You have given me an idea.

In September I will offer a prize for the most outrageous ski outfit. You Keith and Mike can be the judges. I am sure I can locate a pair of skis or bindings.

I know I have a rare Spyder Spring shirt that can do the job!

Better is a Spyder race outfit!

Keep looking for SINFUL outfits!

Cheers