Christmas panto

Dave Mac wrote:Enter Princess Tony. "Hello fans", (bows), "How are you all?"

"Terrible", cried PT's Fans, "There's a credit crunch, the Euros at an all time low, Baron Ryanair is sh...ing all over us, and King Gordon doesn't really care, cos he goes to Skegness for his jollies, and there's no Gondola there."

"Never mind", said the gracious Princess, "Where are we all going skiing?"

"NIEDERAU!" cry the fans.

"Oh No your'e not"
"Oh yes we are"
"Oh NO your'e not"
"Oh YES we are"

"Well, what about Mary Hofen?" cries Princess Tony. (Appearing distressed)

"Who's she", cried the crowd.(for by now some of the fans had changed to pure crowd, mostly because they had been infiltrated by the Brothers GRIMentz)

"No, I mean Mayrhofen" said PT. (blushes)

Enter the Wicked Wickham.

"OK, this Mary Hofen, erm I mean Mayrhofen" says the WW. "Can you ski down to the village?"

"Errm, no. Well, maybe sometimes, if there is a 12 ft fall of snow at the top, and the wind blows some downwards. I mean, be reasonable, the village is 200 metres below sea level."

"NIEDERAU" scream the crowd.
"NIEDERAU" shouts the Wicked Wickham.
"Niederau" whimper the few remaining fans.

Enter the Emporer Pavel. (Yes for it is he, having flown all the way from......sorry, my lips are sealed.)

"Fellow J2Ski citizens", cries the Emperor. (looks regal)
"Hail Emperor Pavel"
"Is there a problem?" asks EP
"Tony wants to go to Mary Hofen", cries the crowd, as one. (for it is past midnight, and there is only one J2Skier left)
"Princess Tony?" frowns the Emporer.
"Well your Majesty, I only wanted to be loyal to Mary." (Looks crestfallen) "Oh, and Niederau is such a low resort, your Majesty"

Enter the court Dimplomat, Dave Mac.

"Diplomat Dave" says EP, "What have you to say?"
"Your Pavelness, I really appreciate Princess Tony's loyalty towards Mary Hofen, but it's time to move on. Niederau has north facing slopes, the runs are in the trees, and it is such a nice place."
"What have you to say for yourself now, Princess Tony?" queries Emporer Pav
"Well", sqeaks the Princess, "I have been offered a great deal by the Duke of Auhof. Why, yes, I shall go to Niederau!"

"Hurrah", cried the fans. (For now the Princess is back in favour with the multitude of Niederauers.

And the Princess went to Niederau, skiied with Diplomat Dave, sank a good few biers, and listened to the court harpist.

And we all lived happily ever after.


Can I have my five pounds now please Dave?