A Male Problem,,,,,and One Possible Solution

A Male Problem and a Proposed Solution

A True tale

All men have a problem at a certain time in their lives. It is rarely talked about, except around a fireplace, a camp fire or after a game of rugby and several beers. There are many solutions to this problem and this tale is about one such solution.

As always it is a true tale,,even if some of you will doubt that.

First , so that you can get the context and really understand the depth of this male problem ( most women do not even consider this a problem) we have to consider how other cultures, other ages dealt with this issue! You see it has been a male problem since man left the caves!

In a nutshell the issue is , “how does a boy become a man”! How does a boy show to the world he is a man! At this point you are probably saying, “get on with it Pavel,,this is a ski site,,,,not some socio-educational” artsy site! We want skiing!

Patience,, and you will see how skiing is central to this tale!!!

In all societies there is some way that a boy “becomes a man”! Sometimes it is ritualized, sometimes it is legalized,,however in our modern society boys are lost in trying to find that path to manhood and they try all sorts of ways to “prove” to peers, parents teachers and girls how tough they are ,,,ie how manly they are ! Thinking that is the way to be a “man”!

I will not go into the many ways this is done since you all have seen such behaviors!

Now back to my story. I was once in my former lives responsible for “problem boys”. I do not have to tell you the profile,,you all know the typical case history,,suffice to say that I realized that 90% of them were just trying to become men (in a very ineffective way)!

For many years I had taken my two boys skiing in June the old fashion way. That is sleep in tent,walk up to peak and ski untracked, ungroomed terrain. I noticed a great change in both my boys after first trip. I wondered if such an “outing” could help some “problem boys”!

I selected the toughest boy who has skied before (I will not go into detail what he had done), bought him hiking boots and told him that instead of being “locked up” for a week during holiday time, he could do whatever he wanted once he climbed up a “small mountain” and skied down with me and some of my buddies!

With a sly grin he accepted right away! He was going to run me to the ground. He was going to show this old fart what he could do on skis!
There was no rules on this trip. No directives like do this and not that! All he had to do is walk up this “small mountain” and ski down, then he could do what he wanted for 5 days !

Let me describe this lad at beginning of hike! Long shoulder length hair. Very tight jeans, with open collar shirt. No need of gloves, hat or water bottle. It was Coke and chips in back pack! I forgot,,a huge radio also ( it was pre-Ipod days)!

While we selected out food, clothing, survival gear at the base lodge,,he just sat in corner listen loudly to his radio! He was tough. He was young and would show these old men!
After some discussion we did convince him not to bring up radio (known as boom-box) since you could not buy batteries “up there”!

Like a rocket he was gone up the trail, walking twice as fast as the group. He wanted to get this over so that he could get those free days. The first hour we did not see him once,,but we did hear him fall several times and curse the rocks, the trees, the slippery snow and of course me!
The second hour , he was walking along side the group drinking his coke and eating his chips! Worst he threw the empty bottle in the woods and then crumbled the chip bag in the trail. Without a word I picked up the bottle and paper bag! My friends just waited for me, Barry (the lad) looked backed,,,,wondered why I was picking up his bottle!


By the third hour,,there was no more cursing, (it took too much air out of him to do so), the jeans were ripped to give him more room, and hair was tied back since sweat was flowing down! At every stop one of us would offer to take one of his “heavy” objects! In the final 45 minutes, we were carrying his skis, his food, his sleeping bag (I did say we were going to sleep in a open shelter) and he was barely following us!
No a word was said when 15 minutes later he shows up to our prepared shelter! We had selected our sleeping spots so that he was sleeping in the most exposed area. There was no doubt he was going to be covered with at least 10 cm of snow in the morning! He ate his cookies and more chips while we prepared to sleep!

At this point some bright boys might begin to think that perhaps these old farts might know what they are doing,,so just perhaps I should do like them! NO not Barry. He did not notice that we placed all our clothing INSIDE our sleeping bags. That we placed our boots WITHIN the very end of our sleeping bags!

In the early morning at 4 AM we dressed (in our sleeping bags) while we hear more cursing, yelling about cold wet shirt, cold wet boots! We just look at Barry and offer him warm underwear, warm thick socks and ho,,,,an extra pair of warm boots we had brought along ,,just in case! I could see slowly a small light beginning to shine in this boys head! “We might help him survive” was the thought I glimpsed!

Now the steep climp was beginning, like a steep stairway to heaven there was just one way to go up. It was the steps previous skiers had made. Silence now. No more comments or cursing. Just deep glups of air! Once over the lip a view this lad had never seen in his life. It unfolded before him as the clouds passed! It was clear that the vastness of this “small” mountain was overwhelming! The 20 km. view was stunning! Then looking down on the clouds a “frigthening realization” was dawning on him! I could see it in his eyes. He looked at me,,then at the lip. Back at me and then slowly at the lip and cliff beyond! Yes only one way down,,,,over the lip into the bowl.

He realized then that we were all crazy. That we were not joking about skiing the lip and that steep bowl! As we sat and admired to view,,I casually asked him if he wanted some “advice” on how to get pasted the lip! After seconds of silence, he whispered, “yah”!

We (the old farts) all looked at each other and understood, Barry was beginning to become a man! He was accepting that others could possibly help him! That nature is more powerful than you! That some people who look normal, calm and quiet,, They are the dangerous ones. The ones who will voluntarily go to the edge,,the very edge and jump with grace, style not for show but to enjoy that total freedom!

The lip is more frigthening in the mind that anything else. You must trust others the first time since your brain is screaming not to go into freefall! Yes just 5 meters,,but it ould be 30 meters. No sane person jumps, on skis, with heavy clothing in the middle of a mountain with no ski patrol, not groomers, no hospital for at least 4 hours! But once you land,,,it is so soft!

(please I never suggest that anyone does this without help, advice and support. You must learn to do this correctly)

That is the second thing Barry learnt that day. Trust. Watching first old man go over the lip, stick the landing and soar in 3 giant steep turns. I explained what to do as the second crazy skier when over lip! Again no hesitation, hands in front and no leaning back!

Then as the first two waited at the lower portion, just below lip! I tapped Barry’s shoulder and said “you can do it”, GO!
Off he went! Perfect position,,,, slight side swipe – speed check, quick turn and,,,,,,,, Landing in the soft,,then three huge turns and a yell of joy!

He was another person from then on! He had faced his limit and discovered that with help you can overcome it! Where before everyone told him he was no good in school , no good at home here at this moment he knew he was better that good!

Three more times he climbed up and went over lip. The last run to bottom was bitter sweet since we all knew this was the last run till next year.
At the bottom nothing was said, except Barry went into my packsack,,took out his discarded coke bottle and chip bag and walked to the garbage bin and tossed them in! We all pretended to look the other way!

Yes he had proven to himself that he was a man up there and now he was acting like a man should. Taking his responsibilities, not blaming others for the problems we have. No need to show others you are a man,,when you know you are one.

You see that is the male problem we have. How do you show others that you are a man! Seems to me it is never made clear to young men in this moder society! So we ski faster, jump higher cliffs, drive faster cars and so on.

This event happened in 1973 and since then every year a selection is made by the “men” of the group and a new “goofer” is found! Every year around May I get calls from those men who now no longer try to prove they are men,,since that issue was solved on that mountain. Every year another boy finds his manhood on that mountain.

So those who watch “The Spirit of Skiing” look carefully at those boys becoming men! It is a moving moment!

Wow - what a wonderful story.

Truely was. I wish you were about when I was a troublesome youth.

Yeah I really enjoyed that story.

Had me imagining some lovely scenery whilst at the office!

I'm 18 and im right troublesome lad,,, pavel i think the only way to sort it out is for you take me off skiing! :roll: :lol:

Sorry pavel too long you lost me 8)

Ian Wickham wrote:Sorry pavel too long you lost me 8)

Ian, go back and try again ... it is worth every second :!:

Another great story with deep meaning Pavel :thumbup:

Was this a trip to Tuckerman, Pavel?

swskier, you say you're troublesome ... but we can tell you're wise ... :!:
Mike :wink:

I might not be troublesome but I am a foolish 18 year old...