A Nigerian Skier Story

Time for another true Pavel ski story. Some of you will doubt this, but I promise this really happened!

Several years ago I made an inventory of all the skis I had and since my wife was complaining that all the skis in the garage were not allowing her to park her car I had to get rid of about 15 pair of skis.

I posted on a ski site all the skis I had for sale.

Three days later I get an email. Here it is.

"Dear Esteemed sir,
I am Matthew Ubede, son of the late Minister of Mines of Nigeria. My father was massacred by President's Injani Kubyde forces during the rebellion and before he died he left me 30 million dollars in diamonds in a swiss bank. I want to buy your illustrious skis since I have skied in my country and wish to attaain the lofty position in the Olympic trials as supreme hiller!

Since you are a reliable Christian ( me???) and honest I am willing with the blessing from above to share with this bounty. I would buy your skis from this diamond lot if you can send me some minor information about your address and bank account so that I can deposit the 30 million!

I was touched by the reponse and since it was a low ski day I was wondering about skiing in Nigeria. I pride myself in knowing trivia about skiing so I began to investigate.

I wondered how such emails were generated.
I pictured a writer dressed in a long white dusty shirt in a cottage hooked up to an old IBM computer trying to imagine what a ski was.

I wondered if there was a whole village of writers , a real cottage industry of writers with pre selected texts responding to ski sale messages.

Or perhaps all former Nigerian ski team members are herded into a huge room and given quotas to fill in order to finance the Nigerian ski team for the next Olympics

I did say that it was a slow ski week and I am know to get to the bottom of issues so I began my mission.

I replied, " Dearest Honorable Son,
I am privilaged to obtain rare blessing from such important person such as you. Yes my skis would do well in your blessed land. Yes they are still desirious to be in your country. I would be honored to send my bank name and account but before I do so could we talk about the ski lenth and side cut.

Your Honorable Christian Servant,
Pavel.

Two days later I get another email. Longer more long 17th. vocabulary and yes a phone number.
I had already traced the internet server and knew the client name and code. I also had already the message rate per hour from this client. I also had the 58 other internet servers the client was using in 16 countries. Plus I had the method of payment for the server service and its source.
( Amazing what info you can get via internet when you know people and techniques)

I called my honorable friend Matthew ( after checking with phone company where this phone was located. Yes Nigeria).

Here is the conversation ;
Pavel I am so honored to share this wealth with you. 30 million seems so much for my old skis! Perhaps just 15 million would be enough.

Matthew: I insist, I insist at least 20 million for you!!!!

P: You are so kind! By the way do you want Slalom or Downhill skis? Do you want me to wax them for you since I will have to buy special wax for + 40 ski weather?

M: Yes Yes downhill olympic skis will be fine since I am just starting this. Yes by all means do wax the top and bottom. Also rub a clear shine! ( I hear in the back a rooster ) Now about your bank account.

P: Before I endeavour to move forward with your blessed proposition, I would humbly request to know is you want a 2 degree bevel edge or a 5 degree beveled edge. The lord does note these things.

M: Yes yes I am prepared to transfer all the 30 million, but you are right I will discuss with my staff this degree question.

I will not go into detail since I am sure you are chuckling already in front of your screen but this type of interaction kept on going for three weeks. Of course each message gave me more information about the person, his organization and methods.

I never lost hope for the 30 million for my old skis since I remembered a cartoon I saw some time ago in which two men were in a huge,,,I mean huge two masted yacht with one asking the other how he made his fortune.
" Simple," he replied. " I answered an email from Nigeria"



Till next Pavel ski story,
Dream on.

Pav, You should have told him to look out for those occasional great deals on ebay from sellers in China. $800 skis for only $50, which always appear with only 24 hours to go. He could have saved a lot of money.

Trencher

Trencher,
We all have such stories. Last year a skier on this site bought a pair of Markers for 20$. Then contacted me because he did not have in the package sent a very special screw for the front unit.
You see Marker has a triangle set of screws for the front binding with the apex screw having a very special configuration so that it can fit into a slot.

Are you really "saving" money in such cases?

Nice to "hear" from you!

I will be "silent" for some time since I am having an operation in two days. Will look forward to reading your comments on this site.

Think snow!

pavelski wrote:I will be "silent" for some time since I am having an operation in two days. Will look forward to reading your comments on this site.

Cool story, and good luck with the operation! hope all goes well.

Ben

Actually, on those ebay deals from China you'll be missing more than a screw. They copy a legitimate ebay sale, photos and all. Then they put on ebay at a very low price with only a short time to go. When I saw this once, I checked and found the original ski and snowboard items. Checking the Chinese sellers history (only a few days total), he had already sold skis (that didn't exist) to people in Australia and Germany. Ebay takes over 24 hours to shut down such scams and by that time the payment could already be sent. So I emailed the buyers. I guess they may have been part of the scam too or to embaressed to reply.

Good luck with the surgery Pav. Get the good drugs ( I do, and save them for tooth aches).

Trencher

Trencher,

In French we say . "Nous sommes commes des atoms crochu" I short it means we are like two atoms.

The more I read your comments and replies, the more I see myself.

Case in point. your suggestions about the drugs. For years I discovered this " strategy"! The problem is you are going to have many questions about this. I leave you the pleasure of educating the younger or "un initiated" fellow skiers about this issue.

Keep the faith that snow will come.

Well just in case anyone was wondering about my comment. I have a very high pain threshold except for one thing - toothache. One weekend I really suffered because the on call dentist wouldn't prescribe anything strong enough over the phone and in the States you can't go to the casualty (emergency room) because the medical insurance doesn't cover dentist stuff (seperate ins plan).

After an injury or a minor repair job, the docs give you some excellent hard to get pain killers. I generally don't need them for the pain at the time, but store them away for the dreaded tooth ache.

I stopped storing them in the regular meds cabinet after I noticed they disappeared when certain guest stayed.

Trencher