Preparing for skiing 2007

HOW TO PREPARE FOR 2007 SEASON

This 10-step program showed up mysteriously in email one day. We thought it only appropriate to share with y'all so you'll be properly prepared

1. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 bills to warm up.

2. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice twenty times in your ski boots carrying a pair of skis, snowboard, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you're looking for your car.

3. To prepare your feet for ski boots, put a pebble in your street shoes and tighten a c-clamp around your toes.

4. Buy a nice pair of new gloves and immediately throw one away.

5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

6. Drive slowly for five hours...anywhere...as long as it's in a snowstorm following an eighteen-wheeler without chains.

7. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. You'll almost feel like your skiing in front of a snowmaking machine.

8. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $10 for a hamburger. Be sure to stand in the longest line.

9. Dress up in as many clothes as possible and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

10. Repeat all the above every Saturday and Sunday

Very nice Pavelski!!!

You could also add these to the list.

1. Go into all your friends houses and throw the windows open saying 'Wow, it's so hot in here'.

2. Try and find all the face creams and lip salves you remember you saved last year for this year. Give up anyway and buy them (again) when you get to your resort. Bring that collection back and hide it with last last year's (which you'll now be able to find).

3. Climb into the smallest closet in your house with the ironing board, vacum cleaner, brooms and anything else bulky to get you in the mood for riding in cable cars.

4. Go up to shop windows and blow on the them and then rub your hand on them and pretend you're trying to peer through a frosty window like you get in cable cars and funiculars.

5. Get your skis out and go to the local park and sit on the swings swinging your skis about as if you're on a chair lift.

6. Walk bown a busy shopping street and weave between people alternately so you can pretend you're doing a slalom course.

7. This is a good one for the office. Go into the racing crouch and sway from side to side. If anybody approaches you just wave and say 'See you at the bottom.....'.

8. Walk into your local bar and trip up saying 'Oops, I've got snow on my boots'.

9. Buy some snow chains for your car and practice putting them on and taking them off. If anybody asks you why you're doing it just say that snow's coming. (Esp good if you live in the Bahamas)

10. Start planning next year's trip, and ask people where they're going for 2008.

My,,,,,,, do we have imaginative skiers on this site.

Great additions

Any others?????

Ha Ha, very funny you guys. Going on Sat to Niederau in Austria and gave us a laugh :lol:

no others from me. But just to say they are brill. And most of all all very very true.

Like the "Try and find all the face creams and lip salves you remember you saved last year for this year. Give up anyway and buy them (again) when you get to your resort. Bring that collection back and hide it with last last year's (which you'll now be able to find)."

Oh so true....

Thanks guys.

:D it is snowing :)

Or why not simply use a chainsaw to cut your feet off. It saves the pain after the first run every morning in rental boots.

I am going skking in Chamonix in 1 week and cannot wait. Here is my stab at it.

1. Check every single website about the destination you are going to ski 8 months in advance
2. Ask everyone who ski's if they have ever been there
3. Start checking fares 1 year out to see if you can get a great price
4. Make sure you tell the wife the skiing is for the kids and you are just doing what they are asking you to do
5. When it gets cold make sure you tell the kids, this is nothing wait till we hit the Alps
6. Convince the kids that the reds are really not that steep it's all in ones mind and pray they don't pass out when the get the first look at the mountain
7. Ask the kids weeks in advance do they have their ski stuff and run out the night before to buy gloves, hats warmers only to find them after
8. When you come back start all over again "See you in Chamonix next wk."